


Until You Find Your Purpose

by inelegance



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But not really in the story, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Other, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Spoilers for Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), few characters are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 17:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21341851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inelegance/pseuds/inelegance
Summary: Dimitri starts to notice his Professor has dropped their habit of running around Garreg Mach Monastery and chatting up with the students after the death of their father, Jeralt.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 91





	Until You Find Your Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> so i was playing the game for the third time and was like "hey, after ******** what if Byleth just stops running around the monastery like a maniac." and just made it sadder.

When the Professor visited Dimitri this afternoon, it gave him a bit of a shock. Instead of hearing the loud and rushed footsteps racing toward him, no matter where he was, it was silent and melancholic steps. It may not seem like a problem to most but seeing the Professor walk around the monastery instead of running felt unnatural. However, after the sudden turn of events, it's to be expected that Professor Byleth wouldn't have the same hop in their step as usual.

Throughout the day, Dimitri would see Professor Byleth walk down the stairs to greet a student and walk off with zero conviction. Trudging around the monastery, they would stop every so often and stare off into space. Their stoic and empty expression taking over. It reminded Dimitri of when they first met. Their expression left him uneasy. He has become so accustomed to seeing the professors bright smile and friendly exterior; anything else feels unnatural and wrong.

He found himself constantly wondering where the Professor had hobbled off to or whether they were okay or not. Those questions plaguing him and making him unable to focus on his training. He started watching them from a distance. Shamefully following them around the monastery and it was much harder to watch than he anticipated. However, at the same time, it helped keep him sane. Helped keep him from storming out of Garreg Mach and raising hell elsewhere.

Byleth stopped his inner demons from submerging him. And stopped him from storming Edelgards room and demanding an explanation.

Why was the dagger in the Flame Emperors possession? He needed proof that Edelgard was innocent and the dagger was safely stored in her quarters. Not in the hands of a fiend.

Dimitri didn’t notice Byleth talk to Leonie at all. She was standing by the fishing pond, overlooking the water, crying her eyes out. Leonie had a deep admiration for Jeralt and made sure everyone knew so. Dimitri could only imagine how she must be feeling as well. And even through their grief, Byleth made sure to check on their fathers’ former disciple. It made Dimitri smile. Even in dark moments, despite their dark exterior, Byleths kindness can never be overshadowed.

He watched Byleth trudge up the stairs. They were trying their hardest to appear normal on the outside, but Dimitri knew the pain exploding within. He’s been through the same kind of grief. Losing a family member, losing a father. When Dimitri looked up again, the professor had suddenly vanished. Panic shot through his entire body. He ran down the outside dormitory in search of the Professor. Maybe they had turned into the Officers Academy. Did they forget to talk to someone?

Sylvain? Felix? Marianne, Hilda, Lorenz? Claude was there as well, wasn’t he? Have they seen the professor? Would it be weird to ask them all when they had just spoken to them?

He heard doors close behind him, shaking him out of his thoughts. He had forgotten that even the professor had a dorm room down here, not just the students. He found himself wishing their dorm room was instead inside along with his and the other nobles. He wished it was that way for every other student, as well. But Byleth was more of a selfish case. He wanted the professor to be accessible and closer to him at all times. For his own sanity. He approached the door as quietly as possible. Adding this to the long list of shameful acts he has committed toward his professor. But he knew the only way to quell his aching heart was to make sure they really were in there. And it wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.

At first, there was silence, followed by ruffling of some sort. He leaned himself against the barrels situated in front of their room and reluctantly listened. He was disgracefully spying in on something the professor actively tried to hide. He knew how disgusting he was behaving. Following them around the place, eavesdropping on some conversations and, now, spying on them in their quarters. He couldn’t help but beat himself up over it.

What made it worse was the feeling of relief he felt; knowing that Byleth hasn’t changed completely or resorted back to their emotionless state. The professor in there was still the same professor he’s grown fond of. The same professor he confided to about his past and his family and Edelgard.

As time went on, their cries lessened. Even when all that was left were silent sniffles, Dimitri couldn’t pry himself away. As if he were in a trance, he knocked on the door. The world stilled as he counted the seconds it took for noise to return to the room. Maybe he could run away and pretend it was just a prank. Why would someone play such a trick after such a cruel turn of events?

Moments passed and not even an exhale was heard from inside. He could probably just walk away and pretend this never happened. Maybe the wind had knocked something into the door or something. Maybe Byleth would believe that. Dimitri commanded himself to walk away and leave the professor in peace, but his feet wouldn’t listen. He didn’t want to leave Byleth alone. Not now, not ever.

“Professor?” he called out.

“Professor Byleth? You’re in there, aren’t you?”

There was still not a sound present, aside from his own erratic heartbeat in his ears.

“I sincerely apologize for bothering you, Professor. I-I just… haven’t seen you all day, save for at the training grounds, and I wanted to make sure you were doing all right.”

The silence was unbearable. Dimitri felt a rift pry between the two. Even if they were only a few feet apart from each other, it felt like they were lifetimes away. He rested his hand on the door handle. Or was the rift only in his head?

“I’ll, uh, be taking my leave now. If you ever need anything—from any of us—please, do not hesitate.”

He lingered around for a bit longer. He just needed a sound, a sign, anything really. He needed to know his professor was okay.

“Dimitri.” A small voice called out.

His thundering heartbeat rattling his ears almost made him miss it.

“Yes?” he said maybe a tad too eager. But what did it matter to him? He’ll deal with the embarrassment later.

Nothing was said afterwards. The silence returned. But this time it wasn’t cold silence. It was the silence of anticipation. Dimitri gripped the handle. Perhaps the anticipation stretched between both parties. Maybe the voice yelling at Dimitri to open the door and see Byleth for himself was right. And Dimitri wanted so desperately for that voice to be right.

He stepped into the room at the same time Byleth moved forward to open the door. They met at the door frame and both froze completely. Dimitri offered a smile, closing the door behind him. Professor Byleth took a step back, lowering their head. They wanted to apologize to Dimitri for looking so helpless. For making him see them grieving instead of staying strong and moving forward. After talking to Leonie, even if it was brief, whatever latch that was suppressing their true feelings fly wide open. They just rushed to their room without thinking of who could possibly notice them.

The sight of his Professor threatened to shatter his heart into millions of pieces, more-so than it already was. Their eyes were puffy and red and showed obvious signs of them crying. Even now, Dimitri could tell they were trying their hardest to hold everything back. They stood there in silence, while Dimitri scrambled to come up with something to say.

“I said so earlier, but I truly meant it. There’s no weakness in taking the time to grieve. And I’d be more than glad to lend a shoulder if you find times to be unbearable. So long as you never give up, I would be happy to stay by your side until you’ve found your way, Professor. Please, don’t hold anything back.”

Byleth nodded. Taking a moment to listen to Dimitris words. They could always backtrack and pretend nothing happened. Pretend everything was okay and let Dimitri go back to enjoying himself. Not wanting to burden Dimitri with any of this anymore. But even so, the latch broke clean off. Any and all resistance practically flew out the window. Their lips quivered, shooting their head down quickly as tears fell.

Dimitri moved forward first, wanting to reach out and comfort them in any way but not sure how to. Then, Byleth moved forward. Dimitri let Byleth thump into his chest, closing the space between them. Their hand reaching up to grab onto the vibrant blue cape he wore with his uniform. Dimitri's heart clenched; he was afraid of getting too close to Byleth. Afraid that he might hurt them even more. Dimitri squeezed their shoulder gently as reassurance. He ran his hand down the fabric of their jacket and grabbed onto the excessively long sleeve. Dimitri pulled on the sleeve, wanting to pull Byleth closer to him. Byleth let themselves fully indulge in the comfort, even if this could be the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ! more self-indulgent work, yay! i love Dimitri and i love Byleth. put them together, it just makes sense.


End file.
